Thursday 29 August 2019

Am I excited for baby number three?

Baby number three! It still blows my mind to write that or say it out loud. At the beginning of the year we weren’t even sure if we definitely wanted to go for another pregnancy, and now I’m 27 weeks pregnant! It’s all going exceptionally fast.

We found out via a private scan at 16 weeks that we are having our second boy and that means there’s not much preparation needed. The hoarder in me made sure I kept ahold of all Archer’s clothes from preemie to present, as well as his old crib, play mat, swing.... you name it I kept it all just in case! It’s going to save us a whole lot of money and shopping over the coming months but part of me is strangely disheartened by this fact. 

I wondered in the beginning if it was a little bit of gender disappointment- I’ll likely get into this in another post- but my preference initially had been for a second girl and I was super excited about another healthy baby boy but yes, part of me was a little sad about no more girls. Looking back I do realise in hindsight that this was a purely materialistic reaction. Having another girl would mean I could shop, as I had nothing of Islas left over and I feel shopping (even second hand as I often have for the children) is a big step in getting prepared and excited for a new arrival. I’m getting over this ridiculous concept by throwing myself into sorting and cleaning what we have, picking up token items here and there and hand making a lot of things for him. 

Another strange part of being pregnant with my third is the reaction of those around me. While I understand nothing will quite compare to how family and friends react to your first ever pregnancy and first little arrival (we noticed the second pregnancy was met with excitement yes, but definitely more muted as is natural) your third is an entirely new ball park. Instead of congratulations, the initial reaction from people is “you’re brave!” and comments about how “I’d never do it!” in regards to a third child. 

It doesn’t mean the third child is any less loved or anticipated but strangely it has had a little effect on how I feel. I feel a little sad for this baby- everyone wants him, we love him already... I am ridiculously excited to bring the final member of our family into the world- but I can’t help but feel guilty over the lack of fanfare. The midwife has me reassured that this guilt is mostly hormonal and that it’s normal for subsequent pregnancies to feel as though I’m “going through the motions” but it’s still there. 

Of course I am excited for baby number three. I’m excited for a loud house, being more squashed in bed in the morning than I already am and for Jack being wrapped around another little finger. I can’t shop or do much to prepare, and other people may not care as much as we’ve done it twice before already, and it may even feel a bit boring as it’s been such an easy pregnancy... but yes of course I’m excited. 

I know this post has been mostly rambling and a clearing of my thoughts but I’d love to know if anyone who reads here has felt even a little similar in their subsequent pregnancies?

All the best x

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