Is my son ready for potty training?

Potty training. It sends shudders down some parents spines, it’s messy and it’s often difficult. It isn’t something we can avoid though. We had Isla potty trained by two years and two months old, and she was dry at night by around three and a half years old (probably longer but that’s when we realised she didn’t need the nappy at all!)

So how did we know she was ready? Archer was a baby and pretty much as soon as he was born, she began helping us change his nappy. We’d had a potty around the house for a while but we never asked her to use it, it was just there. A couple of months after he was born, she began fussing during her nappy changes. Crying, running away and acting very shy about it all unless she was hidden and just with me or Jack- strange considering she never used to care about who saw her bottom before. It didn’t take long at all for her to be fully dry- two weeks at most!

Archer is another story. They say boys take longer, but we’ve also put off trying as he isn’t as talkative as Isla was at two. He talks yes, and he uses sentences and tells us what he wants, but he’s not talked about his business much. He did go through a stage where he would tell me “my poo coming” a minute or so before one came and I tried to use that as a signal to get him on the potty but he would scream and hold it in, absolutely terrified of sitting on the potty. 

We left it. I didn’t want to traumatise him and he’d never mentioned wee so I didn’t know if he was even fully aware of all the functions enough to begin potty training. 

They say with boys, there are a few signs to watch out for, hinting at readiness and he wasn’t covering them all at the time, but I think he is now:

1. Pulling at a wet/dirty nappy 

2. Hiding to wee or poo 

3. Showing interest in or talking about other family members toilet habits 

4. Larger intervals having a dry nappy 

5. Communicating a need to wee or poo, or that they have already 

Other than pulling at a nappy I’ve noticed all of these in Archer. He does hide and then reappear when he’s done a poo (though he doesn’t tell us in advance as much anymore). He’s definitely interested as he has no concept of personal space when one of us is using the loo- I have to remind him that everyone does their own wiping! We also had him come to us and ask to do a wee a few times- we’ve sat him on the toilet and he hasn’t like it as it’s “too big” so we didn’t get anywhere. 

I think our next step is going to be finding a new potty. He thinks the toilet is too big and he isn’t keen on the low down standard potty- I think squatting is too unfamiliar so I’d like to find something more similar to sitting on a chair. 

We have pants now and we’ve talked about when we will wear them a little. He doesn’t let on that he understands although he does ask to put them on. 

It’s hard. He understands so much and talks so much but he just doesn’t seem to want to talk about this very much so it’s hard to know if he’s taking any of it in. 

I think potty training till definitely start over the next few weeks though, and if it doesn’t work perhaps in the new year. He’s not even two and a half so I know he still has a long time! 

30 Weeks- Pregnancy Update

Thirty weeks pregnant! The ten week countdown begins- of course that’s with the assumption I give birth on my due date, which is unlikely. Isla was born at 38 weeks and Archer at 37, and my poor sister is currently nearly two weeks overdue. So really, it’s a pointless countdown but one I’ll participate in anyway! Yay!

I skipped my 29 week update because I’ve been feeling absolutely awful. I did have a check up on the day I turned 29 weeks with the midwife, but there wasn’t much to update on until my blood results came back. 

Recently I’ve been feeling very run down- normal in pregnancy to an extent, but I mean to the point where climbing the stairs had me breathless and resting before I even reached the top. At only 29 weeks when it started, how was I supposed to last till 40? I’ve also had horrendous restless legs. All my muscles seize up and I find myself kicking out involuntarily and unable to sit still for more than a few minutes at a time... it’s been driving Jack insane as he’s taking the brunt of most kicks in bed!

The most concerning symptom I had with all of this has been my resting heart rate. I feel breathless for no reason, and my heart starts to pound and my BPM have been up to 120 when I’m doing nothing at all. The answer here was pretty clear- anaemia. I had it with Isla and highly suspected I have it again, and I was right. My levels have dropped from 126/L to 105/L. While not exceptionally low, it’s low for me and I’m now taking iron supplements and I have to keep an eye on the breathless/heart pounding feeling in case it relates to anything worse. 

Other than that, I’m feeling mostly well in myself and trying not to let it get me down. The SPD is still creeping up on me but I’m thankfully educated enough to keep it manageable- you can read an update on that here. 

I had my first bump measurement at 29 weeks! I measured the 91st percentile with Isla and the 50th with Archer (and those numbers translated exactly to them at birth!) so I was weirdly excited to see how this little one is doing. I measured exactly 29cm at 29 weeks meaning he isn’t big or small, but it did line up to the 90th line on the chart- I’ll see over the coming appointments if he stays on that line. 

It’s been getting me down a lot that the little complications are coming up. Compared to my last two pregnancies, this one has mostly been easy so far but as I approach the end it is getting more tricky. I struggle with basic daily tasks without feeling sore or exhausted to the point of tears and I know it’s having a strain on Jack to do so much to help when he also works full time. Thankfully he understands, but it doesn’t make me feel less guilty. 

Hopefully with these pills I pick up in the next few weeks and can cope a little better!

4D Baby Scan with Window to the Womb- Milton Keynes [Review]

If you’d asked me back during my first pregnancy if I’d consider a 4D pregnancy scan, I’d have told you no. Admittedly, I’d always been sceptical about them and found them a bizarre concept- why not just have the NHS scans and be happy with those?

This opinion was completely changed for me when I asked Jack back at 14 weeks if we could book in for an early gender scan. I explained to him that I was impatient to find out and that it was something I’d like to try, and he was on board. We went to the Milton Keynes Branch of Window To The Womb at 16 weeks and found out our third baby is a boy! They did a sneak peek of the 4D setting and even back then, you could really see detail... look how he was all curled up with his hands pressed on his face!

I’ve been debating going for the full 4D for a while- then I was very kindly offered the Very Important Baby package by the team at Window To The Womb in Milton Keynes and of course I was thrilled to accept and see our littlest boy again.

One of the best things about the scans here is the fact you can bring up to five guests. Understandably the NHS scans are in the hospital, so it is just mum and one other person in attendance, but having these scans at Window To The Womb meant I could get my children involved. It’s worth baring in mind that these scans still are primarily diagnostic and used for checking the well-being of both mum and baby before moving into gender and imagery, but as I said, as it isn’t a hospital setting you can bring your family!

Both Isla and Archer absolutely loved seeing “baby brother” for our gender scan so they were thrilled to be invited back to see what he looked like. It’s the perfect early bonding experience for them. 

When you first arrive at the clinic, you’re warmly welcomed by the staff who sign you in and invite you to take a seat. Pregnant women rejoice, the sofas are ridiculously comfortable and the atmosphere is so relaxed and pleasant, it really adds to the excitement and joy you feel waiting to see baby. There’s even a fully stocked waiting room/playroom for those with children which means they’re kept nice and entertained while the staff help you fill in a couple of routine forms.

Window To The Womb offers a variety of different scan packages, but as I said we were booked in to the Very Important Baby scan which would include:

-100% longer 4D scan (than the lower package)
-Six full colour photo prints
-Two larger full colour photo prints
-Full movie of our scan
-Two photo keyrings
-Gender confirmation (99% accurate, and baby is still a boy!)
-All images digitally available on the Bumpies App (you receive a code which you can also share -with friends and family who download the app!)
-Well-being check and report
-Free rescan if baby does not cooperate

They say that the best time to have this scan is between 27-30 weeks pregnant as baby is chubby enough to look like a proper baby in photos, but not so big that they’re all squashed up and unable to wiggle into a better position. 

Thankfully our little one was very cooperative- he began with his hand pressed up against his face (just as he was when we saw him at 16 weeks- oh my heart!) but with a little wiggling and a change of my position we were all able to see him properly. The scan is so realistic it genuinely blew my mind, and I can’t believe how “real” he is in there. 

Jack and the children got to sit on the big comfortable sofa and watch the entire thing on one of the three huge HD televisions around the room. The staff even invited Isla up to speak to baby so she could watch how he reacts to her voice! I can’t properly explain how amazing the entire experience was, to watch him play with his feet and yawn and stretch... it really made it all the more real for us all. 

After the scan you get to go and select your photos and things to take home from your package- the fantastic part being it wasn’t too hard to pick as we got all the images to keep digitally anyway! I didn’t have to worry about losing any if they weren’t chosen. They get sent to the free Bumpies app and with a simple code I had them all within minutes of finishing. As you can see, Isla and Archer loved picking pictures of their baby brother!

There are lots of optional extras as well as the photos you get- bears, booties, gender reveal items... they have a huge selection. 

The Window To The Womb team in Milton Keynes were exceptional. Having such an enthusiastic and welcoming team really makes the experience so much more worth it and I’m so grateful that we got to share this experience with them. 

If you’d like to find a local clinic for your own scan, you can do by visiting their website here. If you're not sure if it's worth it... I wasn't either, but it really is. Being able to see how he's growing was wonderful and I feel all the more excited to meet him now and it's been wonderful sharing his photos with our family and friends and comparing his looks to his brother and sister as newborns!

I was kindly gifted the Very Important Baby package by Window To The Womb in Milton Keynes in exchange for this review. I paid for the gender scan myself. All photos and opinions are my own. 

First Week Of School- How are we adjusting?

Isla has been in Reception class at school for a week now! She’s done five sessions, though only three have been the full hours- they did a staggered start to get the children adjusted which I think is a fantastic idea.

It’s safe to say, despite me being unsure about it all as you can read here in my previous post about school, she was more than ready. I can’t believe how easily Isla has settled into it all, considering it’s a huge change to our routine after the summer holidays. 

I thought the lunches and long days may exhaust her but so far she’s not bothered. Every morning Isla flies into the classroom and barely looks back, other than pausing to hug her brother goodbye she’s gone instantly. The confidence is amazing. She’s also eaten all her lunch every day of the week, even on the day where she decided she wanted to try curry- she isn’t fussy at home but I doubt I’d have ever convinced her to try it if I’d cooked it!

Archer is adjusting. The first long day he seemed very quiet and withdrawn and clingy. There were a few moments where he tried to talk to her as well, before remembering. It was a little sad. Back when Isla was in preschool he napped for the 2-3 hours that she was gone, and then when he dropped his naps he had her home anyway as it was Summer! It’s all new to him to be alone with me!

We’re doing lots of baking and playing and he’s getting used to it I think. He loves the free access to the “Isla” toy boxes without her getting cross that he isn’t playing her game properly or the usually “she/he isn’t sharing” arguments cropping up. I think he’s also enjoying the extra attention- he’s the second child so he’s never had time just with me. 

I’m putting him into a little toddler gymnastics class starting next week which will give him something exciting to do with mummy- just like Isla getting to go to ballet every week! We also plan on starting toddler group again now it’s September and he will be in charge of what we do for once as Isla won’t be there....

As for me and Jack? It’s definitely different for me. I’m getting up much earlier to get them ready and Jack walks past Isla’s school to go to work every day so he’s got the added company on his trip every morning. I have a lot more to remember compared to preschool and even though we’ve started it still feels like there’s always a million things to sign and bring in- I’m sure it’ll be like this for the next 18 years haha! Thankfully when I’m much more pregnant, Jack is able to drop Isla on his way to work and let me rest.

It’s all new to all of us. Getting up earlier and remembering book bags and cleaning school shoes.... it’s been an exciting step and I’m not really sure why I dreaded it. 

Am I getting SPD again?

As you may know, my second pregnancy I suffered severely with symphis pubis dysfunction, otherwise known as SPD or pelvic girdle pain. In short, it’s a condition that up to 1/5 of pregnant women get and suffer with to varying degrees. Your pelvis itself becomes hyper mobile, and can misalign which is extremely painful and reduces your movement.

If you haven’t read about my past experience and why I was induced as a result, be sure to check it out here. 

It was around this stage of pregnancy I began to feel the pain last time. At 28 weeks I was on crutches and I was in a wheelchair by 32 weeks. Of course, because of this, I’ve been ridiculously worried and over cautious about doing everything I can to not get it again.  

It’s unavoidable really, if it happens it happens and nothing I do can stop it essentially, but I can stave it off and ensure I don’t just “soldier through” so I don’t cause myself more pain and reduction of mobility than necessary. 

Simple things like not hoovering, or pushing the pram often or standing at the sink for too long have helped so much. Jack has been an absolute star as of course, he’s very worried about it all happening again- it was very hard for him to work and come home to a toddler, and immobile wife, and messy house. 

I’ve chatted to the midwife and she’s given me these tips to try reduce my risk of getting too bad again, I thought I’d share them in case anyone who reads this is going through similar:

1. Knees Together 

Whenever I need to move, I try do it with my knees together. If I’m rolling over in bed- knees together. If I’m getting out of the car, I swivel around with my knees together instead of climbing out one leg at a time. You get the idea!

2. Short Walks

One of the biggest mistakes I made last time was trying to just push through the pain. It meant double the pain the next day- I just hated admitting I couldn’t do what I did before. Now I make sure I rest often and keep my distances short wherever possible. It’s a shame but it’ll help in the long run. 

3. Epsom Salts

If I feel the pain creeping in after a busy day, and begin dreading moving or climbing the stairs to bed, a warm bath filled with a cup of Epsom salts genuinely works magic. I don’t know how or why the salts work but they do! Plus free floating in the warm water helps get everything aligned again. The midwife said similar can happen just floating in a swimming pool. 

4. Maternity Support Belt

I have been using one of these for all three pregnancies. I had it with Isla initially as I couldn’t walk home after a long shift without crying in pain (in hindsight I probably had SPD with her too) and I relied on it with Archer by the third trimester! You can get them on Amazon or free from an NHS physio (your midwife or GP can arrange this appointment) and they’re easy to stick on under your clothes. They hold everything “up” a bit whic relieves the weight on your pelvis, and holding the bump in place stops it misaligning. 

I do think I have SPD again. It’s been clear it’s affected me for all three pregnancies at varying degrees.... I just hope with all my heart that it doesn’t get as bad as last time. 

Have you been affected by SPD/PGP in subsequent pregnancies? I’d love to hear your experiences. 

I’m not ready for her to start school.

I’ve just sat down, and had a little cry. Maybe it’s just my hormones, I told Jack. He said I’m being silly.

How can I explain how excited I am, but also very very sad? 

Tomorrow is the last day before Isla starts school. Yes, she’s done a whole school year at preschool already, five days a week- but that was only three hours a day. In reception, she will be in someone else’s hands from 8:45am till 3:30pm. 

Most mornings, by 8:30, she’s still parading around in her dressing gown, trying to swindle me out of more coco pops in exchange for cuddles under the blanket while we watch CBeebies with her little brother. Now, she will be running up the hill to school, stifling yawns as she spots her friends and disappears for the day. 

Lunchtime, I’d let her come into the kitchen to pick what she has. Archer wants a banana, she wants an apple. Sometimes if she was lucky I’d make noodles or pasta, and she could help me cook. 

She would go to preschool for a couple of hours. I’d relish in the quiet as it meant just chasing after one child for a while and getting some housework done. If she was tired, or had a sad day, at least it was only a couple of hours and she’d get to come home. 

We’ve had four years of long days together. Some days we made the most of every minute. Some days I swore I couldn’t wait for her to start school as we argued like we were both children- we are both strong willed and stubborn. Some days, I’d tell her I was too tired or too busy to play as I tried to keep up with the housework. 

It breaks my heart with regret to remember how often I said no to things. It’s impossible not to compare my parenting over the last years with those Pinterest perfect mums online who seem to have time for a trip, healthy lunch, educational craft activity and housework every day. I did my best for her, I have to keep telling myself we didn’t waste a moment. 

I feel so excited for her. School will help her grow and teach her things I never could. She will be permanently surrounded by all her little friends. She will flourish. 

I feel sad because the time with her felt so long, but now it’s done I feel like I really didn’t make the most of it. She will be in someone else’s hands most of her days now. 

I’m so so proud of our Isla, she’s grown so much and so fast- but it feels like it all went too fast. Isla is completely ready for school- more than ready. I think it’s just going to take me a little longer to stop seeing her as my baby.