Three Months Postpartum- Baby #2

Three months out! That means we're out of the fabled fourth trimester, where baby is all floppy and helpless and their instinct to not be abandoned means they shriek and cling to you for 12 weeks...

It also means I'm finally starting to feel a bit more myself and a bit more human. I'm not fully there, but it's a start and I'm definitely trying to be more patient as Archer is my second baby (although I didn't even come close to bouncing back with my first either).

Weight: I only gained 3lbs in my pregnancy as I suffered with Hyperememis Gravidarum (HG). I was still overweight to begin with though as I never lost my baby weight from Isla. I am now at 12st7 meaning I have lost 17lbs since Archer was born.

Mobility: I spent the end of my pregnancy wheelchair bound due to severe SPD (you can read about this here). My hip and pelvis still ache if I walk too far in a day and I end up limping but I'm able to get about if I take it easy which is a big improvement.

Body: I still feel pretty huge despite the weight loss. I'm smaller than I have been for two years following my 5 stone weight gain with Isla's pregnancy, but I'm not happy. I'm soft all over despite being smaller so clothes are fitting quite weird. My breasts have gotten pretty huge from breastfeeding too so I'm struggling to find anything to wear that suits them. I think a lot of it is just poor body image which is something I've always had an issue with.

Mentally: For the first few months, I did suffer with PND (post natal depression). I talked to a lot of people and this has improved, but I'm still feeling up and down. The really bad days are mostly due to my body image and how I see myself. I've dyed my hair recently which helped as I've decided to stop trying to look like "mum" and just be myself, but it's weight loss that will make me feel better I'm sure. I feel pretty burnt out when both children have a bad day and I do get stressed the day after a bad night, but at three months out it's really improving.

How were you feeling three months out?

Steph xo

Pregnancy: Why I had to be induced early

My first pregnancy with Isla, besides her attempt to be born at 31 weeks, was fairly smooth sailing. I did not have any morning sickness- not even once, I did not suffer too much with aches and pains and besides a little period of low blood pressure I was feeling fine physically for the most part.

With this in mind, I expected my second pregnancy to go as smooth, if not better, as I'd been giving the false impression that the second one is always easier. I was sorely mistaken. 

I am fully aware every pregnancy is different, but I never imagined myself unable to gain any weight, or wheelchair bound and dosing on Tramadol while injecting myself with blood thinners. With all this, I had to be induced 3 weeks early.

I suffered early on with morning sickness- except not just in the morning or a particular time of day. The sickness seemed to be hitting all day and even as a result of sipping water. After a week of it getting particularly bad I ended up in A&E. I'd woken up feeling DRY. That sounds silly, but I felt like I had heat stroke, my wee was brown and I was really dehydrated. I was given IV fluids and kept in for observations before being sent home with sickness tablets. 

The tablets made me feel like a zombie, and they didn't stop me being sick fully. I was told I was suffering with hyperemesis gravidarum. To put it into perspective, by 30 weeks pregnant, I was 4lbs UNDER my start weight at 4 weeks pregnant. My baby was growing perfectly, but I had lost so much weight that even with my fluids, the baby and the weight of my placenta I was in negative numbers.

The sickness kept me moderately house bound, however around 28 weeks pregnant I noticed I was beginning to ache around my hips and pelvis and leaving the house was a slow painful process. I'd intended to work until 34 weeks, but by 30 weeks I found my 5 minute walk to work had turned in 20 minutes and I would be barely able to walk for the rest of the day.

My pelvis had misaligned due to a severe acute case of SPD. I jumped from walking with a limp and aches, to needing crutches, and within 2 weeks of me noticing it, I was in a wheelchair for any journey further than 1 minute. I was having to take Tramadol up to four times a day- a drug so strong it is not recommended for pregnancy and is highly addictive. I was also having to inject myself with blood thinners due to my lack of mobility, to avoid clotting.

The sickness, the wheelchair, the pain... it left me unable to look after myself, let alone my two year old daughter or my family and home. I couldn't cope with my mood. I was crying every day and I began to fear I was going to hate the baby as a result.

The midwife took one look at me and booked me in to see a specialist and arrange induction as early as was safe for the baby. It was not in my best interest to be pregnant anymore. The benefit for baby to stay inside was being outweighed by the drugs I was having to put in, and the affect it was having on myself and my families mental well-being.

Archer was born at 37 weeks following a two day induction, and within a few days I was able to move around the house with ease and I felt a million times better. The pain and sickness seemed to subside hours after he was born- it felt like a miracle. 

My pelvis still aches, three months out, if I walk too far or for too long. I have to remember the severity could have caused permanent damage and am still waiting for my follow up physio, so hope it goes away for good one day.

Were you induced at the end of pregnancy? Did you suffer with HG or SPD? I'd love to hear from you- let me know!

Steph xo